Thursday, May 20, 2010

If you love them... Let them know.

Working in a hospital is dangerous. It's scary. We face death almost everyday... Usually it's not the staff dying, but someone, somewhere is. Code blue's are called in the hospital, and it doesn't really have much of an affect unless you're on that floor or on the code team.

But it happens. You don't always know when. You don't always know where.

I'm currently watching an episode of Grey's Anatomy that is making my heart stop....

If a shooter came into the hospital, what would you do?

Would you run up and punch the guy in the face?

Would you deny your position if the shooter asked to save your own life?

Would you hide?

Would you try to help those that had been shot?

When the man who shot your lover asked you for help tend to his wounds, would you help him?

Would you make a phone call to someone you loved to tell them you loved them?

A million thoughts are running through my head as the events of this episode play out, I put my self in their place. Which is the worst thing I could possibly do before bed time.

I see them drop one by one. People I don't know, fictional characters in a TV show, getting shot, and I relate them to people I know. My heart stops. I put my self in their shoes, whether it be pumps, Sketchers, or sensible dress shoes. I walk each step they walk in those halls. One foot in front of the other... One breath at a time.

My thoughts turn to the people that I would want to talk to if I knew my time was running out...

I would probably send a text message to everyone I wanted to talk to because I can text faster than dial numbers...

I would tell My Person that I love her, and that I've always loved her. That no one would ever replace her.

I would tell Brown Boot that I have always loved him and will always love him, and that the relationship I had with him changed my life and made me a better person.

I would tell other people close to me that they meant the world to me... and it would probably be a mass text because I know I wouldn't have time to send an individual message to each person that touched my life...

I would leave something for Tegan so she would know how much she means to me and how much I truly love her... That she is my entire world and that all the bad things in her life had already happened after I was gone, if I had to leave.

Then I would run up and kick the shit out of the guy, in hopes he wouldn't make it to killing anyone else.

Or tend to the wounds that I could care for.

I still haven't decided yet. It would of course depend on where I was and what chances I had of doing what I wanted to do.

My point is... why wait to tell someone until it was too late? Why put it off to the last minute?

What good is loving someone if they or you are gone?

Love fully. Laugh loud. Live in the moment.

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