Saturday, November 7, 2009

An Elephant Never Forgets...

Yesterday was Tegan's first trip to the zoo!

I got lots of pictures on my camera, and the boy got some on his too... BUT.... I still don't have the cable to connect my camera to my computer. Which is uber lame. I know it's around here somewhere... Or I'll have to get another one. At the very least, pictures will be developed, and scrapbooking will be involved. I even saved the bag from buying Tegan's souviners so I could use it as a background for the page. Look at me being all resourceful and stuff. Which reminds me... I need better scrapbooking supplies. It's something I'd really like to get into...

That's besides the point though, and totally not what this blog was supposed to be about.

Zoo! Right!

I hadn't been to the zoo in like... Ten years. Having a baby is more like an excuse for adults to do things that little kids do and act like they're pretending to get excited... when really.... We're just like big kids. We still love going to the zoo and to parks and stuff like that. We just pretend we're grown up for the other grown ups. No one is the wiser... Is any of this making sense?

Tegan loved the zoo. She was jumping around a squealing the entire time. It was so fun to get out of the house and actually do an activity with her! Since the boy has been around, there is more of that going on and I'm okay with it. In my head, when we're out doing our thing or hanging out at one of our houses, I keep thinking that it's supposed to be like this... This is what a family is supposed to be like.... It's nice.

I'm good at getting sidetracked right now, can you tell? Sleepy Mandy...

There weren't a lot of animals out because it is getting colder... But I know I want to go back this Spring. You know why?

This is why.....

Isn't it wonderful? She got totally worn out. I have never seen her jump around and giggle as much as she did. Even though she'll never remember the trip in a million years, it was nice for us. And it's a good memory to have. She loved looking at the animals, even though she didn't understand what was going on. You could see the wonder on her face. It was all stuff she had never seen before.

That's why you do stuff for your kids when they're little. That's why you take them to Disney when they're young. Because they're into the magic, and it's real magic to them. And it creates a memory for parents too. They can remember the look on their son or daughter's face the first time they went to the zoo, and saw an elephant for the first time. And it makes the magic real for the parents to see their kids this way.

I haven't even started planning her first trip to Disneyland yet... But I know that I'm just as excited about it as she will be. Once she knows what it is, of course...

Speaking of Christmas.... (I know I wasn't... but it's a good way to bring it up...) I'm thinking about making stockings this year. I've already got some good ideas and I'm very very very excited. I might actually have a good holiday season for once! I'll give more details as to why later...

Things are finally getting good.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

a breath of fresh air...

It was beautiful today.
So beautiful, that if there were green leaves on the trees, birds would have been chirping. There was no need for a sweatshirt. The sun was bright and shiny, like suns are supposed to be. And the air smelled like dead leaves.

It was delicious. Scrumptious if you will.

So delicious that we decided to take Tegan for her first official hike.

"We" as in the Boy and I. The one that gave me the scuff on my shoe...

And yes, that would be him. We plan to take little nugget to the zoo tomorrow, and I couldn't be more excited.

I didn't realize how hard it was to be a single mom. I mean, I knew it was hard, but it was all I knew. I didn't know what it was like to have an extra set of hands to feed her or occupy her while I try to make lunch, or to play with her.

It is so much god damn easier.

I thought I was getting help before, and don't get me wrong, I have been getting help... But this help is different. It's like we're a little family.


No, boys and girls, calm down. We ARE taking things slow. It's just nice to know what that other life is like.

Okay, here's a couple more pictures from our hike today.... enjoy...

When we stumbled on this little paradise, it made me think of my childhood home... With the trees and the creek. It was beautiful! Did I say that already? I did. B. E. A. Utiful. Seriously...

And the more I looked at it, the more I noticed beautiful pictures that I could take. There were details that I took in with each breath, and each breath smelled of earth and leaves... Fall. I think I fell in love with a new season. I used to think of it as ugly. The season where everything dies, and hibernates for the winter. Trees losing their leaves and looking ugly and bare.

But no. This season, is full of warm colors and apple cider. Comfort food. Water rushing through rock beds. It smells like... Life. Nature prepares itself so that it can start anew once the snow melts. And it amazed me.

On a totally different note, want to know something crazy?

Beyond crazy.

So we come back to the house after the hike, trying to get Tegan to go to sleep, and I turn on the TV. NOTING IS ON.


I stop on Oprah, where I notice that people are singing Karaoke. And guess who I see?

You'll never guess because you don't know her...

Her name is Anna. We used to sing Karaoke together in Florida back at the famous Coconut Willy's! I recognized her right away by her crazy hair, and I only heard her sing for two seconds, but I knew it was her.

I had a friend on Oprah. How crazy is that?

It gets crazier. Ready? Are you sure? Okay....

Some background is needed for this.

So, once upon a time, before I moved to Florida, during my time working at Coffee Break, I started seeing this guy. His name is Scotty Lee, and he was convinced he was a comedian. I personally didn't think he was very funny, and when I went to one of his shows, you know who was in the audience? His mom and her friends. That's it.

We weren't anything serious. We hung out here and there, and I ended things pretty quickly because I realized he only wanted sex. When I told him that, he didn't fight me or try to prove me wrong. He just... left.

Okay, enough background.

I saw Scotty Lee on the news, multiple times tonight. Apparently he is wanted for child porn and for dating a minor.


Thank god I realized he wasn't funny. Because that just beyond creeps me out. Gross gross gross. I didn't think I ever came into contact with people like that. And the fact that I dated one? It makes me realize the world is a sick place.


I think of the hike I had today and the person I was with, and take a deep breath....

I still smell dead leaves and it's not a bad thing. It makes me remember that there is good out there, and that I can see it even though people think it's ugly.

Scotty Lee, on the other hand.... He's yucko.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

i feel like spring, but mother nature says it's fall


I've done it again...

There's another scuff on my shoe.

No, not another actual scuff on my Kirkland Signature boots that I've pulled out again and am wearing constantly now that the leaves have turned and the weather has gone cold... No, not a real scuff. Because there's a lot on those already, and it would be impossible to tell if there was a new one on there.

I may or may not have tripped a little bit and started to fall for someone.

You see what happens when I don't write for a long long long time?! Well, poop. I think it's about time for an update, don't you?



Remember when I was on that road to dark and twisty land? I made plans to hang out with someone, and well... It was different this time.

We had hung out before, about this same time last year... and he obviously felt something that I didn't feel because I didn't see anything other than friendship. We joked about how this was our one year anniversary, because when we were hanging out before, we were trying to do the same thing. Get scared.

So we went to see that movie, Paranormal Activity, and had some sushi, just like old times. But something was different.

I rested my head on his shoulder.


You heard me!

Cover your children's eyes or ears or... whatever!

I made contact. We held hands. I was nervous. And the night ended with a kiss.

A kiss that almost didn't happen because we were smiling too damn big.

Did you hear that?

Mandy kissed a boy and she liked it. There wasn't any cherry chapstick involved... Because that would be gay.

We've been hanging out a good amount, and things have just been going smoothly. It's been really nice. Someone really gets me and isn't pushing me to make decisions or get married or anything. We just... are.

This guy totally gets in my head too. Not in a bad way.... But almost a literal way. It's almost like he has a little guy that lives in my head, that's just camped out in there with his sleeping bag and thermos and a walkie talkie that goes into his head and tells him everything that I'm thinking. He only leaves to take an occasional potty break, because it would just be rude to do that business in there. This little man in my head doesn't litter either. It's like a restricted access national park. Environmental friendly. Or something.

Now I've just painted a picture of some granola freak trying to protest something like... global warming.

Who lives in my head.


*crickets* I hear voices, and they don't like you.

Anyway, this guy is seriously on the same wavelength as me. At times it's freaky. The other night, just to give an example, we were watching TV together, and he did some western sheriff voice, and I told him to guess what movie it made me think of, knowing that he would never get it. After a couple guesses he almost gave up, and then a light bulb must have gone on in his head, and the little man finally turned on his walkie talkie, because his face lit up when he said Fievil Goes West. I turned my head away with a huge smile on my face.


How does that happen? The most random things pop into our heads and it happens at the exact same time!


He's got me all twitterpaited.

Now that I have better internet access, I should be online more often. As for now, I have to get some sleep. What a lovely way to end the evening.