Thursday, October 13, 2011

It's that time of year

I don't know what it is about this time of year.... Colder weather brings memories of holding someone close. Wind blowing reminds single people of being intertwined in the arms of a former lover, and it's when the wind blows and the temperature drops that people start to remember.

Their hearts get lonely. They see the colors of the leaves changing, and they think of me... weather it is because of the memories they had crunching leaves under their feet while walking hand in hand or if it is those same colors that remind them of the color of my hair....

Whatever it is about this time of year is making guys come out of the woodwork. Exes are asking for second, third and fourth chances. Baby daddy is randomly thinking of me and decides to say something after saying nothing for two years. Guys that I thought were gone are starting to appear once again... It always happens after I decide to be done.

There is a three date thing going with me lately, and it's only with new guys that I try to date. Third time isn't the charm in my case... I find a guy that TiVo's football for me - and after three dates he stops contacting me. A guy takes me on a romantic carriage ride at midnight, opens doors for me, and takes me on a picnic - after three dates he stops contacting me. I go on three dates with a wonderful guy and he doesn't stop talking to me... Instead, he invites me to go to Vegas and when I don't answer right away he books the trip with someone else and then doesn't understand why I'm upset. Right after date three.

It doesn't matter what leads to the third date or what happens after then, after three dates they are done. No, I don't sleep with them. It's three strikes and I'm out. And I let it happen. I don't give them excuses. I don't tell them they should give me date number four, because guess what?

.... I shouldn't have to tell them to give me date number four. They should be the one chasing me.

No, that is not old fashioned.

That is how it should be.

I've been to hell and back and I deserve a guy that will see how wonderful and amazing I am without me having to hand them a resume.

I shouldn't have to jump up and down, waving my arms screaming at them to pick me over that other girl.

They should just know.

And if they don't know, they aren't worth it.

If I'm not with someone yet, it's because it's not my time.

I'm a busy girl. I have a lot piled on my very tiny plate, but that doesn't mean it's not worth it. I'm not going to waste time with a guy that won't meet me half way. I'm not going to waste time on a guy that won't open doors for me and get me flowers. It's not because it is an old fashioned thing - it's a respect thing.

I DESERVE to be respected.

I deserve to have someone that will stand outside my window with a radio over their head playing a song that makes them think of me.

I deserve someone that will give me the last slice of my favorite cheesecake.

I deserve someone that will randomly send me flowers at my work because they are thinking of me.

I deserve someone that won't mind keeping me wrapped in their arms because they don't want to be anywhere else.

I deserve someone that isn't afraid to be with me. OR my daughter.

It isn't something that I should have to ask for. It's not like I'm sitting here waiting for it all to happen. I've gone through a lot and have done a lot of very difficult work to get where I am today and to be who I am today. One day, someone will recognize that.

One day, someone will blow me out of the water.

One day, I will make it to date number four.

And after that date? My ladies and I are going to pop open a bottle of champagne.