Breathing...

I had a moment. It was just what I needed, and it didn't last very long, but it didn't need to. It was one of those moments that you see in the movies, where someone is alone and they realize something - the music swells and you can see the light bulb turn on above their heads.

I literally had one of those moments.

Except there was no actual light bulb.

Let me paint the picture for you.

April 2, 2011. I was driving up 400 South on my way back to my apartment after picking up my Bountiful Basket co-op order. My eyes were red and puffy from sobbing like a little baby and drinking a bunch of vodka to dull whatever somber emotion was trying to rise up inside me. My heart had been ripped out, even though the rest of the world and I saw it coming like an oncoming train. I had my iPod on shuffle, and skipped through song after song.

Keep Breathing my Ingrid Michaelson started playing, and I let it. The music fit my mood, and tears were already running down my face.

The moment comes here... I was coming up around 1100 East, and the sun was rising slowly over the mountains. The music literally swelled, and the lyrics kept repeating...

"all I can do is keep breathing, all I can do is keep breathing"

It was really intense. And it clicked. That figuritive lightbulb clicked above my head and the tears started falling more dramatically.

That was all I could do at that time. Keep breathing. Keep moving forward. It was not the end of the world, and someone would come along and love me like I deserved to be loved. Even though I thought that was it, it clearly wasn't.

And I've decided to savor and relish in every moment and mistake made. They are what makes us who we are.