Tuesday, December 21, 2010

the most wonderful time of the year

YAY! Christmas time! There is snow outside. It's freezing cold. Winter freaking wonderland!

Um... Update. I'm sick. Again. So my head is super foggy. I ask you forgiveness as I attempt to post more than once every couple months. But I have time to do it now. Kind of. So, I was sick for about three weeks (starting the new job and ending the old one very very very stuffy) and I got better for two days! Yay! Two days! And then I got sick again.

Buggar. (yes... you may pretend I said that in my best British.)

The new job has been wonderful so far. The people are great, and the kids are hilarious. I know this is what I'm supposed to do now. It gets me so excited just thinking about it. A couple quotes from the kids:

Student: "We're running to California!"
Me: "Are we there yet?!"
Student: "No! We're in New Mexico!"
Me: "What about now?"
Student: "Now we're in Texas!"

Student to other student at lunch time: "No one's going to like you if you don't eat your broccoli."

Teacher: "I laughed so hard I tooted! Maybe I shouldn't have thought that outloud..."

happy times!

McArmy and I are still going strong with whatever we are doing. The holidays are kind of hard alone. Anyone in their right mind gets lonely if they are "single" on the holidays. There's something in the frigid air that makes couples want to cuddle closer and snuggle up next to a warm fire. Maybe it's the mistletoe? Maybe it's all the diamonds being flashed around for guys to buy their ladies? There's any number of things that give off the idea that holidays are for lovers and families, and although I have both (kind of) it still feels like something is missing even though he wasn't there in the first place. But I'm still... Content? The whole thing is still crazy to me. I'm head over heels for someone that I've never been on a date with, but I'm content with where things are at because I know it is better this way.

That being said...

It seems like I've been getting asked relationship advice lately which I find kind of humorous. I'm probably the person you should go to for all the "what not to do's". Maybe until now.

I will tell you this... No matter where you are at with your relationship status, how old you are or what you want out of life, you are never going to be happy unless you are first and foremost happy with yourself and your own life. Seriously. It took me a long time to realize that I needed to be happy alone before I could honestly be happy in a relationship and that I hadn't really been happy in a relationship for a long time and when I was happy, it wasn't healthy. I am a firm believer in planning for the worst case scenario in the most optimistic way possible. I don't want to rely on someone else and have them not be there for whatever reason.

I want to be happy.

I may have mentioned this before, but both of my Grandfathers passed away years ago and both of my Grandmothers are still alive and happy (and healthy considering they are both 93 years old.) Of course they were sad when their life partners in crime and love passed on, but they found a way to keep going. And it inspired me. It made me realize that even when you have the love of your life by your side, there will be a time when one of you won't be there for whatever reason - death, business trip, vacation, medical/family emergency... whatever the reason is, your happiness should never rely on the soul existence of another human being.

I know it sounds terrible. But I'm really hoping that you take it how I mean it.

The best relationship advice I can give to anyone? Figure out who you are and be happy with that person you see in the mirror before you even try to be happy with someone else. Because accepting that person you see in the mirror, all the faults and flaws, becoming okay with the internal and external reflection will bring real happiness that you will never find inside someone else.


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