I've hit Refresh and I like the results....

A whole new world of possibilities has opened its doors for me! That sounds uber cheesy, I know, but in a way it's true. Let's catch you up, because I keep saying I need to get better with posting and I'm still working on it... A new computer may help. But that takes money. We'll see....

Okie day! Job update!

I had my last day in housekeeping on Sunday. Super sad, I know I know... how will the toilets at UVRMC get cleaned now?! Someone else is going to have to do it. Everything happened so quickly with my new job, I'm not sure if some of my favorite people at work even know that I left! A week ago Thursday, I had two interviews, one right after another. Going into it, I felt very confident that one of them was made for me... and I thought it was the opening in Murray. I went into both

interviews with an open mind and high hopes that it would finally be my turn. MY TURN. It was about damn time that someone finally saw my potential and desire to use my CNA.

The first interview was for LDS Hospital. It was a one on one interview, and honestly I had totally forgotten that I had even applied for it until I got an e-mail weeks before saying they

were still considering me for the position. Joy, the floor manager, called me to set up a time for the interview and even said she would leave her meetings early so she could meet with me because she thought it would be worth it to at least talk. And the interview was amazing. I felt like I totally clicked with her. I didn't put on a face and I didn't act needy.... But when she was explaining my duties, I couldn't help but get excited. I was ready to learn more. I want to be a nurse when I grow up, and it's as close to nursing as I can get while going to school. The manager and I clicked and ended up talking for

an hour and cutting into someone else's interview time. I had it. I didn't want to get my hopes up.... But I knew the job was mine.

The other interview was for IMC in Murray. It was a huge group interview, and as they talked about the duties and everything, I didn't seem half as excited for it. I wanted this one because it would be a little less driving... But I wasn't so sure after talking to Joy from LDS.... I was just ready to have a job that wasn't in housekeeping... So again, I went into it with an open mind. There were about 18 people in the interview, with a lot of variety... Utah Blondes, you know the one's I'm talking about... Bleach blonde hair, teased in the back so it looks like a shelf that you could stack books on and run around, but never have the book budge or fall. There were some older ladies that had changed their careers when the economy went bad... and there was a girl that had just married a multi-millionaire who now had nothing.... And a girl that wanted to be a mortician when she grew up. Tattoos, black hair, and a ton of stories dealing with the fathers of her 4 kids and how having them was the only way to stop self mutilating herself.

Enough of that. I knew after interviewing at LDS I didn't want this job in Murray. Working at LDS would be another step closer to downtown. And I reapplied for school at the U this spring. It just makes sense.

You know what job I got? That's right! The one at LDS. I'm so excited! I start training tonight. It's amazing how things just fall into place... I can't wait! It's like I've hit the refresh button that's hiding somewhere in my body. I feel new. Especially with everything going on around me.

Now that I finally have a job that I was working so hard for, I feel.... Weird. It's like, now I'm here.... What do I do? You plan and you work for something, and when you finally get it, it's like... woah. What now?

I'll tell you what now... I keep living my life. I work hard with this job, go to school, work hard in school and have the same thing happen when school is over. "I'm finally here... now what?"

The same thing will possibly happen when I find a man. While we're on this topic, I was thinking the other day, which is rare.... Happily ever after. It's not always the end of something. It's like, I finally got to one happily ever after... what happens after that? And what does it take to get there? So often in fairy tales, the girl dreams of some prince charming, they meet, a bunch of crap happens, and they end up getting married and they live"happily ever after". Until

in our world, the perfect couple gets divorced... I was watching Enchanted yesterday, by far one

of my favorite movies and not just because McDreamy is in it, but I thought of something while watching it. What if that witch didn't push her into the wishing well and she hadn't of ended up in NYC and by chance bumped into McDreamy? What if she ended up marrying this totally dim vain prince charming who she had only known for a day? She met this guy, was ready to marry him, and then a bunch of crap happened and she met her McDreamy. Who she ended up loving more than she knew. He taught her something about herself that she wouldn't have known if she married the idiotic prince, who, let's face it, was totally full of him self.

It just proves my point. Almost everyone has that person. That "what if". Tegan's father was my "what if" at one point, and he knows it. And I realized that I had to get away because I realized I didn't belong with him. I reevaluated my life and what I wanted and realized he wasn't the one. There is still another big "what if" guy that will always be stuck in my head. Yes. Brown freaking Boot. Maybe one day it could happen. But if it doesn't, I'll know that it all this stuff that's going on is making me stronger and teaching me more about myself. And either way, I'll learn some good life lessons and realize what I want. And live ever after. It doesn't always have

to start happily, but it would be nice if it ended that way.

Anyway, that's my thing about how fairy tales can relate to real life. I'm done standing on my soap box now. (gently steps down from soap box....)

With the other more important news.....

Tegan is officially six months old as of the 6th! She had her shots and everything at the doctor, who was shocked when he came into the room. Tegan was playing on the floor while we waited for him to come in. He knocked on the door, came in, saw her sitting up and looking at him, went out the door, and came back. This is how it went...

"This is Tegan, right?"

"Yes..."

"And she's 6 months old today?"

"Yes..."

"Okay, I guess I'm in the right room. She's gotten so big and is doing such advanced stuff, I thought I went into the wrong room!"

Which made me feel like a an awesome mommy....

As of Sunday has been crawling all over the place. She can sit up and everything, which is the cutest thing in the world. She plays with everything that isn't a toy, including wipes and

junk mail. When she first tried sitting up, she could do it about half way and would support her weight with one hand. She realized that she could do it with no hands, and would last for a second or two before she would fall over on her side. Sunday, when she crawled on all fours towards me, she had gotten upset for whatever reason and was sobbing like it was the end of the world. I made my self visible, and bent down and reached out my hands for her a few feet away and called her to come over to me. She got up on all fours, and inch by inch made her way towards me, still sobbing as if someone had seriously offended her, and stopped once she got in my arms.

Now when I walk away, she has realized that she can crawl over to where I am. She can crawl over to the basket where we keep her diapers and toys for when she plays upstairs.... And now that she can sit up with no hands, she can empty the basket if I'm not paying attention and scatter the diapers, toys and wipes all over the place like it's a fun new game.

She went through a shrieking phase.... I'm not talking, happy joyous shrieks. No. These were bad. Earsplitting, nails on chalkboard, "fix the situation now or I'm going to make your eardrums explode" shrieks. Which were usually resolved by shrieking back. It would have been very funny from an outsider's point of view to see a little girl screaming, and her mother and grandmother screaming back. A couple times she would cry.... But the habit was quickly nipped in the butt. She still eats her toes every once in a while... and hasn't really gotten addicted to her thumb or a bink. I'm still a very lucky mother.

I still can't believe how big she's getting. It's like... Blink. She's crawling. Blink. She's a teenager... Blink... She's getting married before me.

Speaking of.... Someone is very hungry and needs my attention. More to come when I have time to breathe! Thanks for reading.