baby girl, it's cold outside...

The weather has finally developed that delicious bite that I've been craving... It's to the point now, where I can't go outside without a jacket. Jack Frost is bitting at my nose, making it turn a lovely shade of red. Granted, it is getting a little stuffy, and I have terrible headaches, but when I look outside I can't help but smile at the leaves that are changing color and the beautiful snow that has started to fall up in the mountains. I love that I have to wear slippers and sweats inside constantly to keep warm. I love that the other night, I fell asleep by a fireplace. No night lights needed! I had the warm glow and flicker from the fire (even though it is a gas fireplace... haha) lighting up the room. The picture is of Timpanogos Mountain in fall. I didn't take it, but I found it on Google. It's the mountain that is right by my house and has been glaring at me to challenge it's hike.

Our house smells like homemade apple cider and cinnamon rolls... And soon it will smell like pumpkin cupcakes! (I'm still trying to think of a good flavor of frosting to go with them, because vanilla just seems so boring!!) The apple cider smell is seriously from the mulling spices and apple juice that we have slowing boiling upstairs. And my mom just put the cinnamon rolls in the oven and it's created this brilliant combination of smells that keeps making me smile!

I have honestly never been a super huge fan of fall! But now I am! I missed having the seasons so badly, and now I have them back and never want to take them for granted again. It's true... You never really understand what you have until it's gone. I'm just one of those rare few that got to have some of it back again. And it makes me happy.

And along the lines of good news!

I finally got my ultrasound on Thursday. I sometimes am in total disbelief that I have a little human growing inside me. I saw little hands with little fingers and little feet with little toes.... I saw bones and muscles developing, and I even saw the profile. Every little detail of that ultrasound reminded me how precious life is... It's a miracle. Cells developing into tissues, that develop organs and organ systems and skeletal structures... eyelashes, hair, eyes... The ability to see and think! It all totally amazes me... Still. It's a good thing I want to be a nurse. Everyday will remind me how amazing life really is, and how something so small can have such a huge effect on other things around it. And if I were super cheesy, I would mention the seed to a sapling to a mighty oak tree thing. And I just mentioned it... Shut up, I'm pregnant. I'm allowed to be sentimental and cheesy.

Yeah, I still have some symptoms of pregnancy. Because, duh, I'm pregnant. My boobs hurt, my back aches, my feet swell up, and I have all kinds of other problems I don't need to mention. My waist is getting wider, and my old pants don't fit anymore. But it's okay now. Sure, I was really emotional and upset. I still can be. It's not always fun to feel like your going through puberty again, only there are a hell of a lot more changes going on. But again, I'm in the process of growing a child. Literally! It's developing inside my belly! Seeing those pictures and watching the video from my ultrasound makes it all so worth it. And once she's here, everything that got me to this point will seem totally worth while.

I'm struggling, sure. It's difficult, of course. But I'm doing the best I can, and I'm starting to become more comfortable and happy.

And yes, it's a little baby girl! I am so excited to finally know and have a little bit more control with my planning. I know that every single mother of a little girl, hopes that their life and relationship with their daughter will be like the seasons of Gilmore Girls. I hope that too! It would be great to have a relationship like that with my daughter. But we all know how unpredictable life, let alone girls can be. I just hope that I can give her the best life possible, and that we can both be happy and healthy.

AH! A girl! It still gets me excited and smiling every time I think about it. Knowing I'm going to have a daughter, and that the weather along with it's comforts are starting to be just how I like them for now, makes life seem even more exciting.

Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go enjoy a nice big mug of real mulled apple cider, and continue my moment of joy while I can. Happy October!