Wednesday, January 6, 2010

deep breaths and big steps

Ah, the little booger is sick. It's been a rough couple of days. She's had a pretty good fever almost constantly, and last night it spiked at about 103. She's never had one that high. And after two trips to the doctor and having her throw up all over my bed, they said to just ride it out and that she would be fine.

She finally slept for a couple hours, and had a fun time keeping me up last night and all day today... Thank goodness I got someone to switch shifts with me so I can stay and make sure she's okay tomorrow. I can hear her stirring in the other room, whimpering and whining... It breaks my little heart. She can't really tell me what's wrong, but I know she's not feeling good. Having her snuggle up to me is one of the best parts about taking care of her. Even though I hate that she's sick, it's nice to feel her breathing on my chest like she used to when she was tiny tiny.

In other news.... I've been insanely productive with different projects. I finished a pillow that is going to match my massive quilt that I'm working on. Like... Massive. Anyway, the pillow says "not every story begins with 'Once upon a time' but they all deserve a chance at 'Happily ever after.'" Cute, right? I thought so. I've had it stuck in my head. I'm ready to get to happily ever after already, but I don't want to miss out on the journey there...

That said, another project I've taken on, is my mom's old scrap book from the summer of 1963, when she traveled around Europe with BYU. It has been so fun to read different letters she got from friends and family while she traveled around from Amsterdam to France, Berlin, and Ireland. She kept random things like napkins and envelopes, and even toilet paper (some of it was like wax paper... seriously.) It's been great to look at it all. And the thing was falling apart, even though it was all glued in with rubber cement. I should post some pictures of that... It's pretty interesting.

I'm still working on putting together Tegan's scrapbook. But that will be a constant work of progress. This first one is just going to be about her first year, and the others will be more spread out.... I love being productive. It beats doing what I've been doing since I came home.

Oh, and school starts freakin MONDAY! It can't come soon enough. I'm so so so so so so excited! I think I have my schedule nailed down... I've signed up for four, but I keep changing my mind on the last one. I'm going to keep it and see how it goes. It will feel so nice to crack open some books and fill the empty space between my ears with something useful for a change... I still have to get my ID and actually buy my books, but I can do all that after my first day of classes.

And I have another errand to do after I do all that... I'm picking up my stuff from a friend's house. I left a bunch of my things with her when I moved to Florida, hundreds of dollars worth of stuff and told her she could use it while I was gone, thinking when I came back I could get it all back. But she thought because it had been so long since I let her use it, that I had actually given it to her. I don't want all of it back, there are just things I need, and I'm trying to move out. I can't afford to spend a ton of money on all these different things that I had already bought and let someone use. She went off to Africa for a semester abroad, and I tried to get the stuff before she left, but things were bad with her parents so I didn't push it too much, because I knew I could get it all back when she came home. Anyway.... Either way the friendship is toast, because she's mad that I even asked for everything back in the first place. But I didn't need the stuff before, and if I had just left it with my parents, it would just be sitting in their basement. So why not let someone that needed it use it until I needed to use it again. But that's the thing, I needed to use it again. I'm trying to raise a baby and get out on my own, and I need my stuff to do it. Did she think I was going to just let her keep everything and only take back my shoebox of memories? Does that make sense to anyone? Why on earth would I let her keep everything besides a shoebox full of random crap to the normal person? Whatever...

What sucks, is she was there when people kept taking advantage of me while I was in Florida and while I was back here. And she was one of the first people to comment on people taking advantage of my kindness, two specific times in Florida and a few times since I've been home, and now look what she's doing? If I get the stuff back, she'll be mad about giving it to me. If I don't get it back, I'll be upset and feel taken advantage of. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. I'm glad that I stood up for myself. That took a lot of guts. And my person was totally there for me....

I'm thinking of a lot of ideas for tattoos. I've been itching to get something... I want to get Tegan's handprint for sure on my shoulder, because she always pats me in the same place. And I want to get seagulls in a snowstorm, but I don't know where that will go. And some more things on my wrist. Number one goal, is to get the flowers on my side fixed. I hate them right now, and if this stuff is going to be on my body forever, I want it to look good....

But... It is way past my bedtime... So I'm off to la la land while the little monster is still asleep.

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