Love or insanity?

I had a patient yesterday that made my day hell. I got behind on everything, because over three hours of my day were spent trying to calm her down... Walking with her in the hallways, talking to her in her room, trying to talk to her husband... It was a bad day. She definitely was not herself.

I had taken care of said woman a day before, and while I knew she wasn't really with it, she was pleasant. She smiled all day, and the only way I could get out of her room was to literally walk out in the middle of the conversation, because this lady would not shut up. She remembered where she was, and seemed to understand what was going on. But, yesterday...

Yesterday was a totally different story. She was yelling at everyone. She hated me. Within 30 seconds, in what could have been a short walk from the bathroom to her chair, she changed. She didn't recognize the hospital room. She went from this sweet little lady, to someone I had never met before. She kept going back to her sorority house days. She thought I was treating her so terribly, because I wasn't letting her leave. But she couldn't leave. Medically, she had to stay where she was, because within 30 seconds, she went totally insane. She was not capable of making the decisions she wanted to make. And she was a woman that liked to be in control.

Then her husband and his neighbor came and gave her a blessing, which seemed to make things worse. Next thing I knew, she was out in the hallway. And she was yelling louder and calling everyone names.

I'm going somewhere with this, I promise.

Hours later her husband came back, and it seemed to make things even worse. She was hitting him with her walker, angry because he wasn't going to take her home. He kept trying to use a calm voice, kept telling her that he loves her and that's why she's here. I can't tell you how many times he told her he loved her. She sat there quietly for a while, and finally turned to him with a hateful look...

After accusing him of some terrible things that would make ME cry, she said....

"How DARE you talk to me that way! I HATE YOU! I DO NOT LOVE YOU!"

Could you imagine living with that? With constant emotional abuse? Would it be total insanity, or is it actual love? Is it weakness? Or strength? How strong would you have to be to put up with something like that, to keep telling yourself that they don't mean it, they aren't themselves...

I haven't been able to decide what it is that made him stay... Is it really love? True love? Or is it pure insanity? Is he used to that emotional abuse from before? I don't know...

If you can't find someone that you love more than anything, someone you would stay by through coma, cancer, or psychosis... Maybe they're worth sticking by.

Keep telling them you love them, even if they yell at you.

Keep telling them you love them, even if you think they can't hear you.

Keep telling them you love them, even when they're gone.